WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Wrong name dropped at party

MIDTOWN – Although he was unaware of it at the time, Rick from Sales picked the absolute worst name to check while talking to Karen from Accounting.

Things were going very well at the annual company party, and Rick didn’t even have too much to drink. He claims merely to have given some shout-outs to a few people who had helped him put together some proposals over the last few months.

Whether innocent banter or calculated innuendo, Rick’s list of names turned Karen’s face pale. She then left the party and did not return to work for three business days.

Speculation ran rampant throughout the company as to the identity of the offending name, but sources have not confirmed it as yet. Pundits near the coffee machine offered several candidates, including a service representative who may have been romantically linked to Karen.

At press time, neither Karen nor Rick responded to requests for interviews.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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