CETIVILLE – Reviewers of the latest Bluetooth wireless headsets universally agreed today that the Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan model was the most uncomfortable ever.
“The sound is pretty clear, but that’s only because the claws dig right into your eardrum,” said Ryan Hingsetter of nuqneH Tech Reviews. “It pretty much causes you a massive headache and scarring right out of the box.”
The headset is modeled after a scene in Star Trek II in which a Ceti eel, a scaled leech-like creature, crawls into the ear of Reliant first officer Pavel Chekov at the behest of the vengeful Khan.
Critics say that the realism goes too far in function, but manufacturer Tortech reassures users that under no circumstances will the device actually wrap itself around the cerebral cortex, causing extreme pain and rendering the host highly susceptible to commands.