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Trump Campaign Still Launching Election Fraud Lawsuits Out Of Sheer Habit

President Trump holds a hastily-planned press conference at Grand Hilton Manufacturing, a plant that was closed and its jobs outsourced to Mexico.

ALLENTOWN, PA – President Trump’s campaign legal team is continuing to criss-cross the nation in futile efforts to overturn the results of the 2020 election, but not out of any hope that it will actually succeed.

“In the last few weeks, we’ve grown to enjoy the camaraderie in traveling around and filing frivolous lawsuits,” said a staffer who wished to remain anonymous.

“There’s all these campaign donations still flowing in, even with the election a done deal. As long as supporters are sending it, who wouldn’t want to keep touring the country and spending it up?”

Numerous campaign personnel have echoed this sentiment, saying that they’ve never had such an opportunity to see so many states.

The president’s personal attorney has executed a stunning array of legal strategies, including “The old Rudy Razzle-Dazzle”, a technique of arguing a case with lots of gestures instead of evidence.

“Wisconsin, Michigan, Georgia, Pennsylvania… the travel is free and expenses paid on the voters’ dime,” said a senior official who very much did not want to be named. “We’re even filing suits in states he won, like Florida, because it’s cold and cloudy in a lot of those other battleground states.”

The elite legal team behind the lawsuits, headed by the president’s personal attorney Rudy Giuliani, privately acknowledges that their efforts are no longer likely to produce any results. Even so, they have chosen to keep up and expand the venture.

The campaign plans to continue filing lawsuits in all the usual states, and expand into some other regions that have even lower chances of changing the outcome such as Belize, Aspen, Disneyland, Monte Carlo, and New Zealand.

“We have just as much legal ground to win in those places as we do here,” said the senior official.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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