WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Tickle Your Ribs with Strickland Propagne

Connoisseurs... get a "Tickle Your Ribs with Propagne" BBQ apron at any Strickland Outlet!

ARLEN, TX – Everybody knows that Strickland Propane is the champagne of propanes, and now you can have both in the same tank: Propagne™.

Make your BBQ bubbly with this sparkling fuel that takes the best of Texas and France… Did you think we were talking about champagne? Well, yes, but propane was discovered by a French chemist in 1857. I wonder if he started barbecuing right away.

Check with your local convenience store, home improvement supply retailer, or propane and propane accessories provider for Strickland Propagne. You’ll find it in the chilled section.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Cambrian explosion happened because bar was lower in those days

Cambrian explosion happened because bar was lower in those days

WARRAWOONA, AUSTRALIA – The relatively short evolutionary event about 540 million years ago that produced an exceptional number of animal

Poll: 1 in 3 drivers unaware light has turned green

Poll: 1 in 3 drivers unaware light has turned green

RESEDA – An informal survey of drivers at the intersection of 25th Street and Murphy Avenue reveals that at least

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
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