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This Day In History – 1968: NASA announces layoffs of astronauts in orbit

Mission commander Wally Schirra said that the incident was bizarre, as if it didn't even happen.

HOUSTON, TX – For a brief time, astronauts in orbit around Earth were dismissed from their jobs by an overzealous assistant program director.

The assistant director, identified only as Elliott, ran some numbers and decided that NASA needed to make cuts right away. Seeing that the Apollo program was the largest expenditure at the time, he moved to downsize starting at the top, discharging dozens of key personnel including the crew of three astronauts in a command module whizzing around the planet at thousands of miles an hour.

Elliott made it as far as giving a press conference announcing the dismissals before being apprehended and removed from the premises.

Mission Control was able to contact the Apollo craft and notify them of their reinstatement just in time, as they had been making calls to arrange alternative transportation back to the surface.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Bungee Jumping Criminal Receives Suspended Sentence

Bungee Jumping Criminal Receives Suspended Sentence

GORGE CANYON, VT – Expert bungee jumper and alleged bank robber Skip Saltaro received a suspended sentence in his trial

Aliens learn to camouflage their ships as lens flares

Aliens learn to camouflage their ships as lens flares

MUNCIE, IN – Extraterrestrials traveling to Earth have refined methods to evade detection, including one that allows them to hide

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
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