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Third-person shooter game thoroughly confusing

Video Game Review by Tyler Janky

“Rigor Mysterious” from Depravitronic is a familiar enough gaming environment – you shoot your way out of difficult situations. That’s where the familiarity ends, though.

As best we could discern, your character’s point of view is that of another player. You still control the movement and shooting of your own character, but your eyes and ears move with someone else.

You start out – or at least, your point of view starts out – in an abandoned garage full of zombies, ninjas, hell-spawn and sharpshooters. Playing across a local network, it took our team a full twenty minutes to figure out that none of us was controlling the movement we saw on our own screens.

We had some success by paring down to one player, then using echolocation to maneuver that character around to where the view was, or first person. I started shooting, and could see and hear what a character somewhere else did. The character that I controlled, or third person, found the first person through trial and error, as if solving a maze blindfolded.

Mack proposed that we try it stoned, but none of us knew where to get any weed, and Hamstring pointed out that playing this game while impaired might permanently scramble one’s brain.

Our team made several attempts to play a game, which only led to mass confusion. We tried constructing a diagram to help organize the structure, but that made things worse. We finally chucked the entire console into the dumpster outside and purchased a case of beer.

Rating: 0 stars out of 5 for utterly impossible gameplay

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

One Response

  1. QuakeMeister

    SPOILER ALERT: This might not be funny unless you are already familiar with the concept of “First-Person Shooters”, video games like Doom, Quake or Halo in which your point of view is the same as the character’s. Is your mind blown now??

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