WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

The Wall Wart, Perfected

The included safety instructions urge customers to avoid usage near curtains, carpets, and within 300 feet of occupied buildings or flammable materials.

OMAHA, NE – Consumers looking for the ultimate in power adapters, look no more. The AC converter better known as the “wall wart” has reached the height of form and funtion with the JankyTronics OmegaDapter 120.

“It’s the last adapter you’ll need, provided you have a 9 volt, 4,000 milliamp appliance with a 3.5 millimeter input and the same polarity,” said JankyTronics marketing specialist Julian Bertz.

Measuring 10 inches by 8 inches (25.4 cm x 20.32 cm) and coming in at 12 pounds (5.4 kg), the OmegaDapter 120 effectively reduces fire hazards, circuit overloads, and power strip crowding by preventing any other adapters from being plugged in.

“You can plug it in a strip or directly in the wall, and you’re not getting anything else in there,” said Bertz. The company designed the new adapter in response to complaints about it being too difficult to plug in multiple appliances. “We fixed that for good.”

JankyTronics currently manufactures the only appliance compatible with the 120, a heat sensor necessary to detect frequent overheating of the adapter.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Physics major roommate pain in ass on movie night

Physics major roommate pain in ass on movie night

COLLEGE CITY – Third year physics major Reed Milledge knows his subject, but can be a real buzz kill when

The Post News Times / JankyVision Terms of Service (TOS)

The Post News Times / JankyVision Terms of Service (TOS)

TERMS OF SERVICE: The user (heretofore referred to as “YOU”), by utilizing in any way the services, products or as

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
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