WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Stereogram of carpet looks like slightly different carpet

Look at this image as if it was located on a point beyond it, and allow your eyes to relax enough to focus on it. This may take some practice, but when it works, you will see a 3D representation of another, similarly textured carpet.

Bring the stereogram (this image) close to your face. At this distance, you will be unable to focus, but that will allow your eyes to stay uncrossed as you move the image further away until your eyes can focus on points set apart, unlike the way they would if your eyes were crossed.

No, not like that… you act like you’re looking at something behind the page… Yeah, computer screen, I know that. Just focus.

Yes, these things work. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean someone else can’t. Okay, try again. Bring it in close. Almost touching your nose. Now pretend you’re seeing the coffee table behind it. End table, whatever. Let your eyes  relax. Relax. You’re not focusing on the picture yet. Stop it.

Now scoot the image away slowly. Or your face, yeah, either one. Try to let them focus on the different spots in front of each eye, but without crossing your eyes, which is what they want to do. Yep, yep, almost got it.

Right, I know you tried these in the 90s and it never worked for you. That doesn’t mean they don’t work. Alright. When your eyes do learn to focus on the two points right in front of each, what’ll happen is this binocular effect that makes your brain interpret the input as a true stereo image.

Wait, where are you going? No, come back. I promise it can work, you just have to keep trying. Seriously, come back! That’s my laptop!

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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