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Spielberg to direct 10 minute biopic on William Henry Harrison presidency

Mulligan Stewart April 28, 2015 No Comments
Spielberg to direct 10 minute biopic on William Henry Harrison presidency

HOLLYWOOD – Director Steven Spielberg is set to direct another presidential biopic like 2012’s Lincoln, this one a short film about the shortest presidency in United States history: That of William Henry Harrison.

“The movie will take about as long as it would take to read the Wikipedia entry on his brief administration,” said Spielberg. “Like Lincoln, Harrison is associated with a constitutional crisis, but unlike Lincoln’s struggle to hold the Union together, Harrison’s was caused by his untimely death in office.”

For the Lincoln biopic in 2012, Spielberg looked to source material from historian Doris Kearns Goodwin, but not this time around. “We got a grad student in history to write up an outline,” said Spielberg, “and we let Daniel (Day Lewis, who is set to star as Harrison) and the ensemble will run with it.”

The film covers the events of Harrison’s presidency, which lasted 32 days. Production, principal photography and editing is expect to take about the same time, if not less.

“It’s not a wealth of material, honestly,” said Spielberg. “His only official act was to call Congress to a special session, before dying of pneumonia. There is some backstory like the Battle of Tippecanoe, but that gets us about three minutes of screen time. We’d be stretching to get more than twelve minutes out of this whole thing.”

Studio publicists confirmed that the DVD and BluRay release will likely not include much in the way of extra material or deleted scenes.

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Instagram post 2123548466559612403_10617623562 REDMOND, WA – Users of Microsoft Office will no longer have to insert pictures or move tables to send their text all over the page.
A new “Do Whatever” button complements the Alignment options in the toolbar. In addition to the existing Left, Center, Right, and Justify alignments, document authors can now select the new button to utterly wreck the formatting they had implemented.
“It used to be that you had to try adding something to the page, and wherever you put it the rest of the document would scurry away in terror,” said Office MVP Loren Ipsell. “But it wasn’t always predictable. Sometimes things would go where you put them, and the rest would stay in place.”
Not so with the Do Whatever button. One press and you will wonder where your paragraphs went.
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Instagram post 1967827042012318708_10617623562 SEATTLE, WA – Owners of Amazon’s Echo devices have a new feature to try out on their Alexa virtual assistants, Snarky Mode. Alexa can now respond to inquiries with snide, sharply critical, and even rude comments while providing answers or performing tasks. “You’re a bit old to be asking what ‘fleek’ means, Dan. How about some nice Eighties music?”
“You can ask Alexa, ‘What’s the weather?’ and she’ll say ‘Oh, hold on while I scoot over to the window and take a look,'” said Echo Snark Division leader Steve Todson. “If you want the real answer, you’ll have to spar with her verbally, like saying ‘I might just have to take you out there and see for yourself if it’s raining,’ and then she’ll give in at some point and say ‘Okay, okay, it’s 45 degrees and raining. Happy?'” Turning the function on is simple. Just say “Alexa, enable Snarky Mode,” and if she says “Oh, so you can try and get sassy with this?” then it is operational. 
You can adjust the level from 1 to 10, which according to the online guide represents snark values from “Raised Eyebrow” through “Oh No She Didn’t” all the way up to “Murdered By Words”. In the app settings, you have even more fine adjustment levels for preferences like joshing, indifference, cynicism, malice, and ad hominem attacks. “Some people simply want a ‘just kidding around’ level, so you can definitely do that,” said Todson. “But curmudgeons, misanthropes, and comedians will appreciate the full throttle experience.” Snarky Mode follows the new Whisper Mode available for Alexa, and soon to come are more options such as Gesture Mode for additional expressive capabilities, Stare Down Mode to unlock passive aggressive tasks, and Edgewise Mode for noisy families.
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