WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Spacewalk goes awry for Shuttle mascot

The tennis ball was not recovered.

KENNEDY SPACE CENTER – The fifth and final spacewalk for Shuttle Atlantis mission STS-125 ended abruptly today when astronauts had to retrieve their dog.

Gus, the house pet aboard Atlantis, had already been for a spacewalk, but got out again through an open window.

Mission specialist John Grunsfeld was a little flustered, but took things in stride considering that he had to cut short some of the activities planned for that last walk.

“We got all the batteries, sensors and thermal blankets replaced on the Hubble Space Telescope,” said Grunsfeld. “But we were going to cook a few bratwurst outside before Gus got away from us. I guess he just took himself for a little walk.”

“Fortunately, Atlantis has a powerful and lengthy robotic arm, which helped pull him to safety. Otherwise, he would be going not for a walk, but an orbit of his own.”

Gus and the crew of Atlantis are all back aboard safe, getting ready for their return to Earth on Friday.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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