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Solar lander melts

Pictured: SI1 "Icarus" probe approaches sun, probably. It's hard to tell at this distance.

THE SUN – A satellite probe sent to explore the surface of the sun has melted, according to a spokesperson for the Lower Hampden Aeronautics and Space Administration, or LHASA.

“There’s obviously an important element we overlooked,” said Frederick Plummer of the craft’s vaporization upon approach to Earth’s nearest star. “We’ll have to rework some of the design elements before we try again.”

LHASA launched the probe atop a rocket dubbed SI1, short for “Sol in One” over objections from NASA, the U.S. government and several other regional governments. To get around numerous prohibitions, they conducted operations from a free-floating platform in international waters.

The probe was nicknamed Icarus, after a character in Greek mythology famous for flying close to the sun. Unfortunately, it could ultimately not withstand temperatures that surpass the melting point of all known substances.

Plummer attributes the oversight to several conversions back and forth between degrees Fahrenheit and Celsisus.

“Throw in a couple Kelvin calculations, and, well… you see where it got us.”

LHASA has no plans to launch any more missions until they sort out the metric temperature issues.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

One Response

  1. Gary Piserchio

    The final transmission from Icarus: “Wow, it’s like a sauna down here.”

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