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SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Software patch that will fix your phone no longer available

MONTREO – Mobile solution provider KapuTech, proud maker of operating systems and applications for a wide variety of mobile platforms, regrets to announce that it no longer offers the one patch that would have fixed your specific and debilitating mobile device problem. No further information is available at this time, and KapuTech wishes you the best in continuing to purchase and use our products.

Purchased only three months ago, your new mobile device requires a critical update in order for the wireless and phone functions to operate. However, KapuTech has released a newer version of the device since then, and is completely focused on the innumerable support issues and future patch discontinuation surrounding that product.

The KapuTech support site has a few suggestions for using the device without the wireless or phone functions. Those options include using the mobile browser while connected to a PC, storing contacts for use on another phone, playing solitaire and using the calculator.

An extensive search of external help forums has yielded more users clamoring for the same patch, which reportedly worked like a charm in making the device function as advertised. One link to an Estonian web page claimed to have a download, but the site is no longer online.

Comments from other users suggested a wealth of possibilities for the withdrawal of the patch, including licensing or fee disagreements with a tangled web of third party vendors. All were in agreement that the device is now a paperweight.

Again, KapuTech thanks you for your continued patronage, and looks forward to providing you solutions in the future.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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