POUGHKEEPSIE, NY – A zany ride on a sidecar that has been separated from its motorcycle entered its third day, with no sign of the motorcycle that its rider hopes to rejoin soon.
“Usually, once somebody knocks the sidecar loose, you go through a crowded marketplace or a loading dock, then you hitch right back up with the bike,” said William Kelso, the passenger of the sidecar. He had been traveling with Wendall Miles, who had been driving the motorcycle at least up until the point they got pulled apart by a collision with a truckload of chickens while gangsters were pursuing them.
“It’s all a big misunderstanding, really, but we’ve got to meet up again and get to the city hall building before we can clear everything up,” said Kelso, who was rolling on one wheel down the boardwalk of Coney Island past startled bystanders.
So far, Kelso has hurtled through the upstate New York countryside, across frozen landscapes in the midwest, into subway concourses, and over several highly improbable ramps.
“To tell you the truth, I’m getting quite hungry,” said Kelso, who has also not stopped for restroom or sleep breaks. “But the crime boss thinks we’re part of this huge plot to steal from them, and the cops think we’re teamed up with the mob. On top of that, Miles is being chased by his fiancée’s father for skipping out on their wedding. It’s all part of this mix-up, and I have to catch up to him to straighten everything out.”
Miles was last seen careening across rooftops in suburban New Jersey, and there are not yet any indications he is heading back in the direction of Kelso’s sidecar.
“Sometimes I’ll get to a fork in a dirt road, and I’ll think now is the perfect time for him to come along from the other fork and snap it back together,” said Kelso. “but it hasn’t happened yet.”