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Scientists scoff at new element, Ridiculum

Look at this goofy little element.

STOCKHOLM – Atomic physicists are having a hearty laugh over the newly discovered element Ridiculum (Rd). It has farcical properties in every category, including comical atomic mass, silly electronegativity, and absurd valence.

“We approach every subject with seriousness, but one look at Ridiculum and we lost it,” said scientist Tilde Nyström. “Honestly it’s hard to keep a straight face when we’re dealing with it.”

Ridiculum suffers from isolation from most of the other elements in its group. It doesn’t bond well and it’s a bit dense for an element of its mass. Other elements like Lithium and Magnesium get more respect from researchers, and this has been a hindrance to conducting earnest study into it.

Some labs are attempting alloys with other light elements such as Hilarium (Ha) and Ludicrite (Ld). Earlier tests with Foolhardium (Fh) proved to be in vain.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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