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Roommate abandons microwave popcorn vigil

"Don't worry, I'll stand here and watch it."

REDENBACH – Apartment 410 resident Tom Marks fell through on his pledge to monitor the progress of a bag of microwave popcorn, according to witnesses.

Marks’ roommate and microwave owner Phil Henrikson had warned him that ten minutes was “way, way too long” to heat the popcorn.

“It says on the bag not to cook it for more than five minutes,” said Henrikson, “and that you should never leave it unattended.”

Marks has weathered dissatisfying popcorn experiences in the past, and had hoped to optimize popping by leaving it in uninterrupted.

“If you stop to put more time on, it loses its momentum,” said Marks. “You have to keep a critical mass going.” Unfortunately, due to a pivotal scene in the movie that was playing, Marks left his post and did not return until the smell of smoke alerted him.

Henrikson plans to recoup the cost of his ruined microwave oven and non-microwave safe dish from Marks, a total of almost $30.

Marks plans to move out of the apartment unannounced early Tuesday, leaving Henrikson with the lease.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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