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Rival scrapbooking gangs rumble with pinking shears

BROOK CREEK – A heated rivalry between scrapbooking organizations turned violent over the weekend, leaving one “scrapper” mildly injured.

Betty “Rizzo” Riznovchiuk sustained slight injuries from a pair of plastic pinking shears. Witnesses say a member of Riznovchiuk’s former scrapbooking circle, the Cosa Scraptrucha (or CS-13) stabbed her over a disagreement about lignin-free paper. Riznovchiuk’s injuries are not serious, but she did have to treat the wound quickly to avoid it getting infected. Pinking shears are scissors with sawtooth blades, which leave a zigzag pattern on cloth or paper.

An anonymous caller from CS-13 claimed that Riznovchiuk had merely sustained a paper cut, but this has not been verified.

Riznovchiuk’s current organization, the Brook Creek Scrappers, declined comment, but have doubled security at their compound.

Local law enforcement said that there is no cause for alarm, and no clear link between the rise in the popularity of scrapbooking and violence. Currently one in three U.S. homes has someone involved in scrapbooking activity, and the amount of money behind it has more than doubled in the last six years to over $2.5 billion.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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