WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Rising tide lifts all boats, inundates pedestrians

The tide, a fluctuation of sea levels caused by Earth’s rotation and gravity exerted by the sun and moon, presents few problems for vessels that float.

For those who do not have boats, vast quantities of water pose a problem. Sometimes it comes at them with great force, and even though it is not intended for them, it can overwhelm them. If they can stay afloat long enough, they can usually get to dry land or tread water until the next cycle comes around.

Some people do have boats and cannot get to them when it’s most crucial. Or sometimes the structure where their boat was gets destroyed. Sometimes someone else flat out stole their boats.

Those with big boats, or lots of boats, do not often have this problem. They sometimes look at people walking around on low ground and wonder why they don’t move somewhere else or just get a boat.

Other people look around and wonder how an analogy got so stretched as to place all the importance on sailing. Of course a rising tide raises all boats. The boats were going to float anyway, no matter what. The point is that if you have a boat, you’re going to be fine.

Not everybody has a boat, and not everybody lives on the water.

And sometimes the water comes to  you.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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