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Rescheduled curling tournament now canceled

"It's awful hard to curl on water," said one competitor.

LAKE SUNNYVALE, OR – A pro-am curling competition originally slated for January has now been canceled altogether, according to the event organizer Ben Slidee.

“We ran up against an experimental ice hole fishing tournament the same weekend,” said Slidee. “But we couldn’t find a way to line up the lanes so they wouldn’t send the stones on a likely path down the holes.”

Slidee and the other planners settled on the last weekend in April, which was the earliest time slot unencumbered by other events at Lake Sunnyvale.

“Turns out I know about as much about seasons as I do curling,” said tournament founder Slidee, who has competed all three years and has yet to make the finals. “Next year, if the timing’s right, and if one of those other four teams backs out, we’ve got a shot at getting in the bracket.”

Curling, a sport more popular in colder climates and known by many as “chess on ice”, depends very much on a solid sheet of ice for reliable play.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

London Transport launches first open-top airliner tour

London Transport launches first open-top airliner tour

LONDON – Tourists now have a whole new way to go sightseeing over one of the world’s most famous skylines.

Ambassador to Alderaan dismissed abruptly

Ambassador to Alderaan dismissed abruptly

NEW YORK, NY – Ambassador to Alderaan Christopher “Kit” Tosche found himself without a job today right in the middle

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
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