WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Report: People love bulleted lists

They're pretty fond of captions, too

TUFTON, RI – Researchers have determined that nobody is even going to read their reports or paragraphs like this unless they format it as a series of bullet points.

  • People more likely to read content presented as bullets
  • Makes content easily to comprehend
  • Promotes oversimplification of complex ideas
  • Bullet points partly responsible for Space Shuttle Challenger disaster in 1986
“Never hurts to have a pull quote.” – An Expert
  • People love them just as much 3 decades later
    • Creates false sense of credibility
    • Nesting makes effect even more pronounced
  • More than 6 bullets on a page leads to “Bulletpoint Fatigue”
    • A made-up disorder
    • Probably no more made-up than Comma Splice Disorder or Sentence Fragmentia
Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

HOW TO: Render a 1970 VW bus engine useless

HOW TO: Render a 1970 VW bus engine useless

[Part 1 in a series of about 38 ways to deprive yourself of transportation] Step 1: Scan some books on

Part-time zombie not invited to apocalypse

Part-time zombie not invited to apocalypse

ROMERO, PA – Wally Newburgh sat out the most recent zombie uprising because he is only a temp. “When you

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
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