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Raccoons pass on eggplant casserole

RANDLE, WA – A local family of raccoons has turned down a complimentary in the form of an eggplant casserole discarded by the Kilgores, a family of humans living nearby.

Bernice, part of the group that tried the casserole, suggested that the eggplant had been overcooked.

“They throw out plenty of stuff, and most of it is perfectly palatable,” said Dave, a representative for the group (also known as a gaze) of raccoons. “This dish, there was something a little off. I can’t quite articulate what. But that’s probably the same reason they pitched most of it.”

Closer inspection of the casserole revealed nothing out of the ordinary visually. Flies native to the trash cans raised no complaints, and in fact seemed to be enjoying the entire range of items available.

The Kilgores, who reside in a large wooden structure close to the trash cans, could not be reached for comment. Brent, a dog who lives with them, was reportedly in the back yard consuming grass, and the family boarded a vehicle that traveled in the direction of a nearby restaurant.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Grave of archaeologist robbed

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The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
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