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Protest to bring back incandescent light draws millions

GAINESVILLE, MO – Protesters numbering in the millions staged a fly-in at locations across the country last night, demanding the return of conventional incandescent light bulbs.

“We get it,” said organizer Gil Carey, a 10-month-old miller moth, speaking in a Kroger parking lot. “Artificial light is just going to be a factor in night skies in the human-dominated world. But as long as we are going to wander into that irresistible glow, we ask that some common sense be restored.”

Carey is referring to the LED, CFL, and sodium lights that have largely replaced outdated and less efficient incandescent light bulbs over the past few years.

Moths, gnats, mosquitoes and many other insects traditionally rely on natural light such as moonlight for their practice of photoaxis for directional orientation. Carey would not provide further justification for the protestors’ demands, except to say that they would continue their demonstrations every night indefinitely, barring inclement weather.

 

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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