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TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
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SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
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POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Pizza Hovel unleashes 36-pound “Cholesterol Bomb”

Delivery is available with one week lead time.

ADIPOSA – The tri-state area’s largest pizza franchise announced its latest creation today, the 36 pound Cholesterol Bomb.

Loaded with toppings and heavy as a small child, the new dish required Pizza Hovel to reinforce tables in its stores.

“You got pepperoni, sausage, ham, extra cheese, ground beef, bacon, Italian sausage,” said store manager Ed Fullers. “Canadian bacon, hamburger meat, double cheese, salami, prosciutto, Philly steak and feta.”

The pizza is also available with vegetables, “but that’s going to be extra,” said Fullers.

As part of the promotion, OneStop Cardio is offering 20% off coupons for preventive angioplasty to the first 10 customers.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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