WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
The Post News Times
  • ARTS
    • CULTURE
    • DESIGN
      • ARCHITECTURE
      • CRAFTS
    • ENTERTAINMENT
    • FASHION
      • FOOTWEAR
    • MUSIC
  • MONEY
    • BUSINESS
      • CONSUMER
      • MARKETING
      • OFFICE
      • PRODUCTIVITY
    • LEGAL
    • MEDIA
      • JOURNALISM
      • SOCIAL MEDIA
    • MILITARY
  • LIFE
    • ANIMALS
      • CATS
      • DOGS
      • EQUINE INTEREST
    • EDUCATION
    • FOOD
      • DINING
    • GARDEN
      • TREE CARE
    • HEALTH
      • EYECARE
      • FEAR
      • GROOMING
      • SAFETY
    • HISTORY
    • LIVING
      • GAMES
      • LITERATURE
      • PHILOSOPHY
      • TRAVEL
    • TEENS
  • METRO
    • CRIME
    • TRAFFIC
    • WEATHER
  • OPINION
    • EDITORIAL
    • CONSPIRACY
  • POLITICS
    • ESPIONAGE
  • SCITECH
    • ENERGY
    • ENVIRONMENT
    • MATH
    • SCIENCE
      • ARCHAEOLOGY
      • ASTRONOMY
        • ASTROBIOLOGY
      • CLIMATE
      • EVOLUTION
      • GEOGRAPHY
      • GEOLOGY
      • MARITIME
      • NUCLEAR
      • PALEONTOLOGY
      • PARANORMAL
        • CRYPTOZOOLOGY
        • TIMETRAVEL
    • SPACE
    • TECH
  • SPORTS
  • MORE
    • ABOUT
    • AUTO
    • CARTOONS
    • CLASSIFIEDS
    • CLICKBAIT
    • OBITUARY
    • POSTAL LORE
    • SPONSOR
  • ARTS
    • CULTURE
    • DESIGN
      • ARCHITECTURE
      • CRAFTS
    • ENTERTAINMENT
    • FASHION
      • FOOTWEAR
    • MUSIC
  • MONEY
    • BUSINESS
      • CONSUMER
      • MARKETING
      • OFFICE
      • PRODUCTIVITY
    • LEGAL
    • MEDIA
      • JOURNALISM
      • SOCIAL MEDIA
    • MILITARY
  • LIFE
    • ANIMALS
      • CATS
      • DOGS
      • EQUINE INTEREST
    • EDUCATION
    • FOOD
      • DINING
    • GARDEN
      • TREE CARE
    • HEALTH
      • EYECARE
      • FEAR
      • GROOMING
      • SAFETY
    • HISTORY
    • LIVING
      • GAMES
      • LITERATURE
      • PHILOSOPHY
      • TRAVEL
    • TEENS
  • METRO
    • CRIME
    • TRAFFIC
    • WEATHER
  • OPINION
    • EDITORIAL
    • CONSPIRACY
  • POLITICS
    • ESPIONAGE
  • SCITECH
    • ENERGY
    • ENVIRONMENT
    • MATH
    • SCIENCE
      • ARCHAEOLOGY
      • ASTRONOMY
        • ASTROBIOLOGY
      • CLIMATE
      • EVOLUTION
      • GEOGRAPHY
      • GEOLOGY
      • MARITIME
      • NUCLEAR
      • PALEONTOLOGY
      • PARANORMAL
        • CRYPTOZOOLOGY
        • TIMETRAVEL
    • SPACE
    • TECH
  • SPORTS
  • MORE
    • ABOUT
    • AUTO
    • CARTOONS
    • CLASSIFIEDS
    • CLICKBAIT
    • OBITUARY
    • POSTAL LORE
    • SPONSOR
Breaking News:
  • Budget Ninja makes mythical warrior capabilities affordable
  • Pot Roast Embroiled in Scandal
  • UPDATE: Massive particle collider smashes subatomic particles, finds creamy nougat center
  • Biofuels nothing new, says farting cow
  • Mother’s Day Relaxing Mostly For Non-Mothers
  • Blogger Supposed To Be Doing Something Else
  • Bad for you this week: Tomatoes
  • Whoop Ass now available in snack pack size
  • Da Vinci painting reveals hidden grocery list
  • Cat Orchestra Thrown Into Chaos By Conductor With Laser Baton
The Post News Times
  • ARTS
    • CULTURE
    • DESIGN
      • ARCHITECTURE
      • CRAFTS
    • ENTERTAINMENT
    • FASHION
      • FOOTWEAR
    • MUSIC
  • MONEY
    • BUSINESS
      • CONSUMER
      • MARKETING
      • OFFICE
      • PRODUCTIVITY
    • LEGAL
    • MEDIA
      • JOURNALISM
      • SOCIAL MEDIA
    • MILITARY
  • LIFE
    • ANIMALS
      • CATS
      • DOGS
      • EQUINE INTEREST
    • EDUCATION
    • FOOD
      • DINING
    • GARDEN
      • TREE CARE
    • HEALTH
      • EYECARE
      • FEAR
      • GROOMING
      • SAFETY
    • HISTORY
    • LIVING
      • GAMES
      • LITERATURE
      • PHILOSOPHY
      • TRAVEL
    • TEENS
  • METRO
    • CRIME
    • TRAFFIC
    • WEATHER
  • OPINION
    • EDITORIAL
    • CONSPIRACY
  • POLITICS
    • ESPIONAGE
  • SCITECH
    • ENERGY
    • ENVIRONMENT
    • MATH
    • SCIENCE
      • ARCHAEOLOGY
      • ASTRONOMY
        • ASTROBIOLOGY
      • CLIMATE
      • EVOLUTION
      • GEOGRAPHY
      • GEOLOGY
      • MARITIME
      • NUCLEAR
      • PALEONTOLOGY
      • PARANORMAL
        • CRYPTOZOOLOGY
        • TIMETRAVEL
    • SPACE
    • TECH
  • SPORTS
  • MORE
    • ABOUT
    • AUTO
    • CARTOONS
    • CLASSIFIEDS
    • CLICKBAIT
    • OBITUARY
    • POSTAL LORE
    • SPONSOR
  • ARTS
    • CULTURE
    • DESIGN
      • ARCHITECTURE
      • CRAFTS
    • ENTERTAINMENT
    • FASHION
      • FOOTWEAR
    • MUSIC
  • MONEY
    • BUSINESS
      • CONSUMER
      • MARKETING
      • OFFICE
      • PRODUCTIVITY
    • LEGAL
    • MEDIA
      • JOURNALISM
      • SOCIAL MEDIA
    • MILITARY
  • LIFE
    • ANIMALS
      • CATS
      • DOGS
      • EQUINE INTEREST
    • EDUCATION
    • FOOD
      • DINING
    • GARDEN
      • TREE CARE
    • HEALTH
      • EYECARE
      • FEAR
      • GROOMING
      • SAFETY
    • HISTORY
    • LIVING
      • GAMES
      • LITERATURE
      • PHILOSOPHY
      • TRAVEL
    • TEENS
  • METRO
    • CRIME
    • TRAFFIC
    • WEATHER
  • OPINION
    • EDITORIAL
    • CONSPIRACY
  • POLITICS
    • ESPIONAGE
  • SCITECH
    • ENERGY
    • ENVIRONMENT
    • MATH
    • SCIENCE
      • ARCHAEOLOGY
      • ASTRONOMY
        • ASTROBIOLOGY
      • CLIMATE
      • EVOLUTION
      • GEOGRAPHY
      • GEOLOGY
      • MARITIME
      • NUCLEAR
      • PALEONTOLOGY
      • PARANORMAL
        • CRYPTOZOOLOGY
        • TIMETRAVEL
    • SPACE
    • TECH
  • SPORTS
  • MORE
    • ABOUT
    • AUTO
    • CARTOONS
    • CLASSIFIEDS
    • CLICKBAIT
    • OBITUARY
    • POSTAL LORE
    • SPONSOR

Offshore banks threatened by rising seas

Mulligan Stewart January 5, 2017 No Comments
Offshore banks threatened by rising seas

CAYMAN ISLANDS – Rising ocean levels are beginning to submerge offshore banks, putting at risk much of the money being tucked away there.

“We really should have considered putting these billions of dollars closer to land,” said Joaquin Phillipe, manager of the Dodge Parry Trust not far from the coast of Georgetown, Grand Cayman.

While there are still numerous banks on solid land for customers to squirrel away cash to avoid taxes, those that are located in the cay are finding their situation increasingly tenuous.

“People don’t want to deposit their money in a place where it’s going to get soggy,” said Sandra Appleton, former manager of the Maldives Engulfed Holdings bank. That bank closed because the sandbar it was on had eroded, taking billions in assets with it. “And you can’t bank where there’s no bank.”

Global ocean levels have risen over 7 inches (195mm) since the Industrial Revolution in the 1800s, and they continue to rise for reasons that people continue to dispute.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

« Previous Post
Next Post »

Leave a Reply

Click here to cancel reply.

Popular
Restaurant Employee Sent To Find, Thaw Out The Veggie Burger
DINING

Restaurant Employee Sent To Find, Thaw Out The Veggie Burger

Mulligan Stewart April 4, 2018

TOPEKA, KS – Everything came to a standstill at Burger Shanty this afternoon when a customer ordered the veggie burger

Found: very old milk or very new cheese
CULTURE

Found: very old milk or very new cheese

Mulligan Stewart February 5, 2008

YOUR REFRIGERATOR – A recent discovery in the back of the top shelf, behind the unused mild salsa and a

Advertisement
Categories
Archives
Follow on Instagram

postnewstimes

All the news that fits.
The Post News Times provides sardonic reportage for the perspicacious reader.

Instagram post 2123548466559612403_10617623562 REDMOND, WA – Users of Microsoft Office will no longer have to insert pictures or move tables to send their text all over the page.
A new “Do Whatever” button complements the Alignment options in the toolbar. In addition to the existing Left, Center, Right, and Justify alignments, document authors can now select the new button to utterly wreck the formatting they had implemented.
“It used to be that you had to try adding something to the page, and wherever you put it the rest of the document would scurry away in terror,” said Office MVP Loren Ipsell. “But it wasn’t always predictable. Sometimes things would go where you put them, and the rest would stay in place.”
Not so with the Do Whatever button. One press and you will wonder where your paragraphs went.
“It doesn’t just move things around,” said Ipsell. “It changes the margins on random things, adds page breaks, makes it so that some pictures are inline while others are behind the text. It’s a solidly effective piece of programming.”
Instagram post 1967839167778882990_10617623562 DENVER, CO - An unpaid intern at a satirical news site made an ad hoc post in an attempt to verify that the connection between the Instagram account and the related Facebook page was working properly. Previous attempts had gone to a personal profile instead, and if it happens again the intern plans to register deep dissatisfaction with the process.
Instagram post 1967827042012318708_10617623562 SEATTLE, WA – Owners of Amazon’s Echo devices have a new feature to try out on their Alexa virtual assistants, Snarky Mode. Alexa can now respond to inquiries with snide, sharply critical, and even rude comments while providing answers or performing tasks. “You’re a bit old to be asking what ‘fleek’ means, Dan. How about some nice Eighties music?”
“You can ask Alexa, ‘What’s the weather?’ and she’ll say ‘Oh, hold on while I scoot over to the window and take a look,'” said Echo Snark Division leader Steve Todson. “If you want the real answer, you’ll have to spar with her verbally, like saying ‘I might just have to take you out there and see for yourself if it’s raining,’ and then she’ll give in at some point and say ‘Okay, okay, it’s 45 degrees and raining. Happy?'” Turning the function on is simple. Just say “Alexa, enable Snarky Mode,” and if she says “Oh, so you can try and get sassy with this?” then it is operational. 
You can adjust the level from 1 to 10, which according to the online guide represents snark values from “Raised Eyebrow” through “Oh No She Didn’t” all the way up to “Murdered By Words”. In the app settings, you have even more fine adjustment levels for preferences like joshing, indifference, cynicism, malice, and ad hominem attacks. “Some people simply want a ‘just kidding around’ level, so you can definitely do that,” said Todson. “But curmudgeons, misanthropes, and comedians will appreciate the full throttle experience.” Snarky Mode follows the new Whisper Mode available for Alexa, and soon to come are more options such as Gesture Mode for additional expressive capabilities, Stare Down Mode to unlock passive aggressive tasks, and Edgewise Mode for noisy families.
Load More... Follow on Instagram
0.0
BY THE NUMBERS
The average amount of time a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
Popular
Monster Truck Brought To Standstill By Speed Bump
Scavenger Lobby protests declining quality, volume of scraps
Test post more interesting than actual content
Hardened cynics having trouble keeping up
NEWS TICKER
  • I’M NOT YELLING, I JUST TYPE THIS WAY
  • Blogger Supposed To Be Doing Something Else
  • Doping scandal rocks semiconductor world
  • Constellation names updated to reflect modern tastes, sponsors
  • Asbest-O’s Flame-Resistant Cereal recalled over safety concerns
  • Company makes full time jobs of unsubscribing for clients
  • George Foreman to deli: “I’m not going to pay a lot for this muffuletta”
  • Escher-Sketch lets you attempt the absurd and achieve the impossible
  • The Wall Wart, Perfected
  • No human ever holds their hands like this when talking to another
About Us

The Post News Times is the greater metro area’s premiere reporting authority on ersatz, superfluous and/or sardonic news. Our copy desk features a weaponized thesaurus.

Sponsors
Salty Sugar Fat
Salty Sugar Fat
Salty Sugar Fat
Stompinator
Stompinator
Stompinator
Burger Shanty
Burger Shanty
Burger Shanty
Beanie Behemoths
Beanie Behemoths
Beanie Behemoths
Pepsi Coke™
Pepsi Coke™
Pepsi Coke™
Hospitala Convenience Store Health Care
Hospitala Convenience Store Health Care
Hospitala Convenience Store Health Care
Topo Grigiot Vineyards
Topo Grigiot Vineyards
Topo Grigiot Vineyards
Crispy Wheat Polygons
Crispy Wheat Polygons
Crispy Wheat Polygons
Escher Sketch
Escher Sketch
Escher Sketch
Crocs Suit
Crocs Suit
Crocs Suit
Whoop-Ass
Whoop-Ass
Whoop-Ass
Cabin Monkey 2: The Reckoning
Cabin Monkey 2: The Reckoning
Cabin Monkey 2: The Reckoning
Sudokia
Sudokia
Sudokia
Mime-A-Way
Mime-A-Way
Mime-A-Way
Useless Crap
Useless Crap
Useless Crap
Kenickie Fried Chicken
Kenickie Fried Chicken
Kenickie Fried Chicken
Grab My Junk
Grab My Junk
Grab My Junk
PopSickle
PopSickle
PopSickle
Bluetooth Patch
Bluetooth Patch
Bluetooth Patch
Silent Dog Bell
Silent Dog Bell
Silent Dog Bell
Chico’s Bail Bonds
Chico’s Bail Bonds
Chico’s Bail Bonds
Gnocchia Edible Phone
Gnocchia Edible Phone
Gnocchia Edible Phone
TreeActiv Solution
TreeActiv Solution
TreeActiv Solution
?
?
?
Asbest-O’s Cereal
Asbest-O’s Cereal
Asbest-O’s Cereal
Chemtrails
Chemtrails
Chemtrails
Store Brand Ketchup
Store Brand Ketchup
Store Brand Ketchup
Red Bull Milk of Magnesia
Red Bull Milk of Magnesia
Red Bull Milk of Magnesia
omnis nuntium apto
© Post News Times
Scroll to top
%d bloggers like this: