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Neighbor has new HDTV, apparently watches only C-SPAN

MARLANNISVILLE – That guy across the street recently purchased an LCD or plasma TV, according to sources next door. However, he does not seem to take advantage of what must be an extensive array of channels in High Definition.

Passersby voiced concern that the man in his early 30s seems to watch an inordinate amount of C-SPAN, a government access channel that reports on “Washington stuff”, said one source.

“Doesn’t he know there are free movies? If he’s got the right cable box, they’ve even got HD programming,” said Everett Milbor, a neighbor two doors down who spends a fair amount of time in his and adjacent front yards removing weeds.

An ad hoc committee formed to discuss approaching the neighbor, whose name escapes the participants. If they can figure out a way to learn his name without giving away their motives, they plan to invite themselves to some kind of social gathering.

“If we had a housewarming for him, we could get more information on why he’s watching so much C-SPAN, and maybe get him to venture out a bit,” said Milbor. “Problem with the plan is, none of us can remember how long he’s lived there.”

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Blue tooth installed

Blue tooth installed

CAMRBIDGE, MA – Evan Gruber, the man in the office known to practically everyone as “that guy” had a blue

Man thought dead just real laid back

Man thought dead just real laid back

BLASETON – Onlookers believed Calvin Harvis was deceased and called 911, asking for the county morgue to come pick him

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
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