Mug owner approaches breaking point

SCRANTON, PA – Doting mug owner Michael Guffin has had his favorite mug taken carelessly for the last time, and is ready to snap if it happens again, sources say.

Bender Associates, the insurance firm where Guffin works as a claims verifier, has a number of community mugs available, but he maintains a mug for private use.

“Sometimes there’s not a clean mug, so you take what’s there,” said Eric Ingle, claims adjuster. “Mike needs to get a grip.”

To safeguard against unauthorized taking of his mug, Guffin emblazoned a terse warning across his mug. He was quoted as saying there would be harsh consequences if he is not taken seriously.