WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away
Mulligan Stewart
Dear Mentos truck driver:Things ain’t so fresh NOW are they? HOW YOU GONNA GET OUTTA THAT ONE?
Mentos… the Fission Maker!
If we could just harness the awesome power of Mentos and Coke we could stop our dependencies on foreign candy.
That would violate the terms of the Toblerone Accord.
If it helps, I squirted Pepsi thru my nose as soon as I read the headline.My laptop is not lovin’ the Jankyvision at this particular moment in time.
@Kath:Please be sure to read the Janky TOS. We are totally irresponsible. It’s in Legalish and everything. And if your popped-up laptop isn’t specifically covered in the text, it will be retroactively covered by virtue of the “space-time continuum” clause. As always, your call is important to us.Mgmt.
Whoa! Was that on purpose? If it was an accident I feel sooooo bad for the driver!
Not to worry, Anonymous. No one was hurt, unlike the Pop Rocks/Coke incident of 1979 that claimed Mikey.