WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Massive arrow threatens distant galaxy

The arrow was in perfect alignment to be captured by Hubble.

FRESNO – Amateur astronomers have discovered a vast pointer arrow looming disastrously close to a galaxy far, far away.

Brothers Loomis and Weaver Hartinger spotted the giant structure while poring over online images from the Hubble Space Telescope. Loomis estimates the object to be over two million light-years across.

Galaxy R5D4, as the Hartinger brothers named it, appears to be in grave danger from the arrow. They have no immediate plans, but discussed the possibility of a fund raiser with some local bands.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Popular
Test post more interesting than actual content
JOURNALISM

Test post more interesting than actual content

DENVER, CO – With a test post meant only to verify the connectivity between the main page and a social

Company makes full time jobs of unsubscribing for clients
BUSINESS

Company makes full time jobs of unsubscribing for clients

DAVISTON, OR – Maybe you’ve attempted to clear out your email inbox by unsubscribing from the countless senders who bombard

Advertisement
Categories
Archives
0.0
BY THE NUMBERS
The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
Scroll to top