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Maker of Silent Dog Bell investigated for fraud

YORKSHIRE – The manufacturer of a pet item sold as “Silent Dog Bell” is under investigation for possible fraudulent advertising.

“It’s silent, alright, because it doesn’t make any sound,” said case worker Stu Drummond. “It seems to be just a regular hand bell with the clapper taken out.”

Cozenine Products, which sells the Silent Dog Bell, calls it a novelty toy and says there is no misrepresentation.

“We say it right there on the package, ‘silent’, and that’s what it is,” said company defense attorney Bill Therm. “Cozenine makes no claim that the product attracts or repels dogs. This is a frivolous suit.”

Drummond disagrees. “They do call it a bell, though, which has some specific mechanical and possibly legal requirements,” he said. “If you’re going to sell something as a bell, it had right well better ring.”

Cozenine has settled out of court in the past for other allegedly fraudulent products such as the Snipe Hunting Rattle, the Egg Peeler and Sasquatch Repellent Spray.

“The Sasquatch repellent works as far as we know. Do you see any Sasquatches around here?” said Therm.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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