WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Loafer bees vital to cultural development of hive

APIARISTON – Workers, drones and queens are widely known for the tasks of gathering, production and continuity that perpetuate the highly eusocial bee civilization.

The casual observer may not know, however, that many of the bee’s intellectual advances came from the little-known loafer bee, a kind of outcast in the traditional division of hive labor. The much-maligned loafer gets almost no attention, because it seeks none of the credit for a hive’s commercial output. It does, however, deserve accolades for more subtle contributions.

For example, it was a loafer bee that first fermented honey into mead. “The workers and drones spend all week making honey and keeping the hive warm, stuff like that,” said self-styled beeologist Orin Dearey. “It took a forward-thinking bee, somebody off the clock to try something new.”

A loafer bee probably came up with the idea of pollinating hemp, Dearey believes. “It’s not regarded as a honey-producing plant, but it has lots of uses bees don’t usually consider. They could probably make stronger, greener hives with it.”

Although we cannot hear it, Dearey contends that bees make music, and the loafer bee is the composer, arranger and conductor. “If they ever take up hacky-sack, you can bet it’s going to be the loafer bee leading the way.”

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Popular
Friday night now also alright for fighting
METRO

Friday night now also alright for fighting

LONDON – Sir Elton John has issued an edict extending the appropriateness of fighting on Saturday night to include Friday

Hospitala launches convenience store outpatient centers
BUSINESS

Hospitala launches convenience store outpatient centers

In a partnership with Circle K, Jug & Loaf, Exxon, Love’s, Burger King, Hardee’s and Carl’s Jr., Hospitala is opening

Advertisement
Categories
Archives
0.0
BY THE NUMBERS
The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
Scroll to top