WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Lady At Register Going To Write A Check

One customer in line had a Snickers bar, a birthday card, and exact change

WALSENBURG, CO – The lady at the front of the line, who just had her items tallied up, is apparently poised to write a check, say witnesses at local retailer BuyMoar.

“She got about seventeen dollars worth of stuff,” said Kyle Lander, third customer in line. “Then the cashier gave her the total, and she lifts up her purse and puts it on the counter. I was like ‘Oh my god, she’s gonna write a check.”

The check is a method of payment that predates electricity

Other customers corroborated claims that she then rummaged around in her purse for several seconds before producing a navy blue checkbook. Audible sighs rose up from those in the immediate vicinity.

“Who doesn’t have, like, at least a twenty on them? Or a check card?” said fourth in line Imelda Gerard. “I can pay with my watch, for crying out loud.”

UPDATE: The lady eventually completed the check writing process and the purchase, going about her business but leaving behind her a wake of irritated customers.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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