WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Inhabitants of distant planets still not ready for digital TV conversion

Some planets have barely figured out how to illegally descramble premium satellite channels.

BETA PICTORIS – Alien life forms on planets outside our solar system are still unprepared for the switchover from analog to digital television signal for programming originating on Earth.

Since the late 1920s, terrestrial television transmitters have been beaming content out toward space, for the enjoyment of anyone equipped to receive it. For almost all of that time the broadcasts were in VHF and UHF radio bands, but going forward everything will be in digital HD formats that require decoding.

Most earthbound television viewers are ready to accommodate the new digital signal or are in the process of making the change. However, viewers tuning in from planets as close as a few dozen light years away will not even be aware of the coming change for several more years.

“If they’re paying close attention, they will get wise to the coming conversion and make the necessary adjustments,” said Exoplanet Broadcasting expert Cassie Orton. “But if they try to keep using standard VHF and UHF antennas beyond a certain date, they’ll miss out on a lot of programming.”

Earth authorities do not have the resources to notify these extraterrestrial viewers, and no plans are in place to start.

“They’ll just have to sort it out on their own planet,” said Orton, noting also that the gap in programming might amount to potential loss in advertising revenue.

In related news, FM and AM signals provide another outlet to other planets, as well as satellite services if they have subscriptions.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

OPINION: If man meant to roll, man born with wheels

OPINION: If man meant to roll, man born with wheels

BY UNAK THE TOOLMAKER Unak make tools long time. Unak know a little something about way world work. Unak not

Mini black hole stolen, suspect presumed spaghettified

Mini black hole stolen, suspect presumed spaghettified

GENEVA – A miniature black hole that was stolen from the Large Hadron Collider at CERN underneath the Franco-Swiss border

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
Scroll to top