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“Grab My Junk” swamped with non-garbage calls

HACKENSACK – The proprietor of local trash pickup service “Grab My Junk” is having difficulty reaching his customer base, but cannot figure out why.

“I don’t know how much more straightforward we can be,” said owner Tom Bagley. “We come to you and pick up your junk. Whenever the ads run, though, we get flooded with the strangest calls, mostly hangups.”

Bannock Advertising executive Barry Twigsen is puzzled as well. “I can see where we could have an anomaly in one medium or another, but this is across the board,” said Twigsen. “Cable TV, magazine, newspaper, outdoor and online have all given us the same result. Thousands of inquiries and almost zero conversions to trash removal service calls.”

Sagging sales have prompted Bagley to tighten the coin purse and look for alternative ways to bounce back. “Some callers have certainly provided suggestions, and we now know that we have great name recognition. I think we just need to cobble together some money for the new ad campaign. We’ve got to get the message through.”

Bagley said that the next round of ads will be even more direct, featuring him on camera in a garbage collector’s outfit. An upbeat dance track jingle will accompany Bagley singing the company tag line.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

One Response

  1. Kath

    You had me at Hackensack.

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