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GM gets additional $3 billion from Washington for rust proofing

"Yeah, but I'm sayin', that TruCoat, you don't get it and you get oxidization problems."

DETROIT – Automotive giant General Motors sat Washington down in the manager’s office Wednesday and laid it out straight. This deal on the table to exchange $27 billion in unsecured debt for 10% of GM stock is worthless without some rust proofing.

Washington may have worn down the new guy, Evan, in offering only $19.4 billion in federal loans, but, hey, this is Rick here. He’s telling Washington how it is. And if Washington drives off this property without our special rust protection package – and this is a one-day deal only – for $3 billion, Rick is afraid Washington will have a rusted heap within three years.

GM reminded Washington that these prices won’t last, and that this is the same offer they’d give their mother. If Washington turns down the rust proofing, GM may have to speak to the floor manager to avoid bankruptcy, which may not happen anyway with prices this smoking hot.

Washington is also considering the fabric protection package, but has emphatically refused pinstriping and paint sealant.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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