REMINGTON – A man in deep sleep who had plans to fly in his dreams was grounded this evening due to some inexplicable nonsense.
“I was scheduled to fly,” said Mitch Roberts, who was eagerly anticipating the experience of flying weightless while unconscious. “But this committee of goats voted on something that prevented me from taking off. It wasn’t directly related to me, but at the same time it was, you know?”
The goats were then no longer goats but Roberts’ third grade class, who were in Sydney, Australia at the Kentucky Derby.
“I know the Kentucky Derby is not in Australia, but it was at my house at the same time. Point being, it was a weird thing and I ended up not flying like I’d hoped.”
Roberts hopes to attempt flying again soon in his dreams, but has reservations about the reliability of that mode of travel.
“Last thing I want is to have a layover in Narnia or something. Or they lose my luggage and it’s no longer luggage but a crocodile.”