WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Song of the Day: Foghat, “Fluoride”

It’s always a good time to listen to Foghat’s 1975 anthem to dental care, “Fluoride”. Perhaps the only hit song dedicated to the inorganic, monatomic anion of fluorine, the upbeat rock number extols the virtues of brushing, or even simply partaking in water that has been supplemented with the additive.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

One Response

  1. God Of Bacon

    Dr. Strangelove is one of my favorite movies.

Commuters Stunned By Real Life Game Of Frogger

Commuters Stunned By Real Life Game Of Frogger

ROXBURY, MA – Motorists on their way to work this morning were caught by surprise when a life-size game of

Economists to keep predicting recession until they get one

Economists to keep predicting recession until they get one

ST LOUIS – Prominent economists will continue issuing warnings that we may be headed for a recession until it comes

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
Scroll to top