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Date reaches record high

The date has never been this high.

GREENWICH – The calendar date reached an all-time historic high today, March 24, 2018. Observers of time report that humanity has never seen or recorded later dates.

“This is much, much later than dates we had in the 5th century, the Renaissance, or even the 90’s,” said calendar maker Chip Wheeler. “And it’s only going up, I’m afraid.”

A look at a record date from 2008, which occurred on Thursday, May 8. The remainder of the year would continue to shatter records.

The previous record high date was set on March 23, 2018, but pundits say the rest of this week will easily surpass it. Wheeler warns that we can expect higher and higher dates throughout the year, and that they won’t be coming down.

“You’ll see a monthly flux in the days of the month, but overall the trend is one of inflation. It’s not like in the days of Egyptians when the years ran downward.”

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

2 Responses

  1. Anonymous

    This is hilarious! I sent it to my whole family.Sio

  2. Andy

    Glad to hear from another satisfied customer. You can’t spell “quality service” without JankyVision.As you may have heard, today’s date (May 9, 2008) yet again smashed records.

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