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Consumers upset over sundial watch performance at night

TEMPE, AZ – Manufacturers of the Sôlex Sundial Watch are responding to irate customers who are discovering that their watches require additional hardware and settings to operate after sundown.

“We did not include this caveat in the original packaging,” said Sôlex ombudsman George Boyett. “To be perfectly frank, we didn’t think it would be necessary. But here, I’ll say it. You need a light at just the right angle to tell time on this thing after dark.”

The Sôlex Sundial regularly tells time during the day when the face is oriented properly to the north (or south, depending on hemisphere), and this functionality goes away when the sun does.

“Same deal on cloudy days, too, so we’re going to put that in the brochure now,” said Boyett.

Sôlex has issued several refunds and expects to process a few more, but pledges to address the nighttime problem in future company literature, advertising and attachment offerings.

“I wouldn’t call it a ‘nighttime problem,’ ” said Boyett. “It’s a sundial. Sundial. We are very sorry that a few valued customers out there did not catch that nuance in our earliest marketing efforts, but we will make every effort to mitigate whatever harm done to those who find themselves unable to tell time at night with their Sundial Watch.”

Boyett was available for further comment, but his words were muffled and unintelligible.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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