WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Commuters Stunned By Real Life Game Of Frogger

ROXBURY, MA – Motorists on their way to work this morning were caught by surprise when a life-size game of Frogger broke out on the Northern Expressway.

Mystic River and Northern Expressway in Roxbury

Game developer Nonami pulled off the massive feat by bringing in a 10-meter long, 5,400 kilogram mechanical frog that players on the roadside could control remotely. The goal is to guide the frog across the road without it getting hit by cars or trucks.

Next to the expressway in the Mystic River, giant logs floated by that the frog also had to navigate in order to get to the other side, winning the level. The gigantic game was inspired by the original game Frogger by Konami, which had no involvement in today’s events.

“We are not amused,” said Massachusetts State Police office Dean Chacko, who took steps to locate the operators of the huge frog.

Normal traffic resumed when the frog missed a log and plunged into the river.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Popular
Fish never sleep, cranky all the time
HEALTH

Fish never sleep, cranky all the time

PACIFIC OCEAN – Researchers have determined that fish are irritable because they never get any sleep. “We put a few

Noise caching headphones collect sound and amplify it directly into ears
CONSUMER

Noise caching headphones collect sound and amplify it directly into ears

VILNIUS, LITHUANIA – For several years, consumers have had the benefit of noise cancelling headphones. They filter out ambient sound

Advertisement
Categories
Archives
0.0
BY THE NUMBERS
The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
Scroll to top