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City Council considers removal of Street Seesaw

SHORELINE, FL – City council members vote today on a proposal to remove the beloved seesaw on Lagoon Boulevard. Concerned parents maintain that it’s a threat to motorists and children, while proponents of the attraction say that it’s an issue of freedom versus government control.

“If they don’t like it, don’t play on it,” said Bodie Wagner, in favor of keeping the seesaw. “This is just another example of tyranny, them trying to take away our rights.”

A group of parents formed an organization to champion removal of the seesaw, which they plan to prove is an immediate danger to children playing on it and to any car using the road.

“I find it disheartening that we should have to argue in favor of removing a seesaw that is in the middle of a public right-of-way,” said Harris Robledo of Parents in Favor of See Saw Balance, or PiFoSSB for short. “We had forty children nearly injured by cars since January and oh my god, why is this even a debate we’re having?”

The Shorline Sheriff’s Department has voiced support for removal of the seesaw, citing the questionable process by which the parks department obtained their permit.

“The Council approved the permit,” said Sheriff Charles Hayley, “but nobody asked us if it was okay to build a playground in the middle of the road.”

The vote is expected to be close, with 3 firmly for the proposal, 3 against, and the deciding vote to be cast by council chair Bailey Ohlander, who at 5 years old is the youngest in the city’s history.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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