WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Chinese Hackers Steal Netflix Password, 1 Billion People Now Watching On One Account

Ables says she's relieved not to have the DVD plan, or she might be in real trouble

SHANGHAI – Computer hackers apparently in China have broken into one U.S. citizen’s Netflix account and have shared the password, allowing almost a billion people to stream programs from that account.

“It might be nice if they got into Monty Python, I wouldn’t mind that so much.”

“It’s really messing with my recommendations,” said Sherry Ables, a substitute teacher from Spokane, Washington. “It was fine when they went through all the seasons of Black Mirror, because I liked that too. But then a couple hundred million people got going on Riverdale and that’s just not my thing.”

Ables said she is now seeing wildly erratic results under “Top Picks for Sherry” whenever she logs in to watch something. She is also having it difficult finding times to watch when there aren’t multiple people already logged in, as her account is restricted to six devices and two streams at once.

Netflix spokesperson Bailey Waters said that the company is looking into the breach, in the meantime suggesting that Ables change her password.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

Chemtrails found to cause belief in chemtrails

Chemtrails found to cause belief in chemtrails

RUSSELTON, AL – The long-debated and long-dismissed conspiracy theory about “chemtrails,” the belief that governmental agencies are using high-flying aircraft

Infant Implicated in Juicing Scandal

Infant Implicated in Juicing Scandal

ELMO, MT – Parents of 8-month-old Citronella Shreda announced that she was in fact one of the parties named in

The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
Scroll to top