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Chicken Pot Pie To Be Used As Energy Storage Medium

Chicken pot pie can reach up to 7,200 degrees Celsius.

STILLWATER, NV – Researchers have solved an age-old problem in energy production with an age-old solution: Chicken pot pie.

“The problem with generating lots of power is that you have to store it somewhere,” said Trey Chaud, manager of Baked Goods Renewable Energy Labs.

Several chicken pot pies can be deployed at once, storing gigawatts of energy.

“Basically most forms of electrical energy production are steam-based. Nuclear, coal, natural gas, thermal solar – that’s not including photovoltaic. We heat up water to turn turbines that generate electricity.”

“When you’ve got a heat source going, but there’s less demand, all that excess power goes to waste unless we capture it somehow. The battery technology is not quite there, so we use things like molten salt to store the heat until we need it again.”

Chicken pot pie only recently emerged as a candidate for heat storage, when Chaud burned the roof of his mouth at his mother’s house during a Sunday dinner.

“While I was tending to the blisters, the dish sat there for a good twenty minutes. When I went back it was still scalding hot.”

Hydroelectric plants have begun installing gigantic ovens to house the searingly hot pies.

Chaud took samples of chicken pot pie back to the lab and performed tests, confirming that it was quite efficient at retaining heat energy.

“We perched it at the top of our solar concentration towers, where hundreds of mirrors aim sunbeams at a single point. The chicken pot pie absorbed all of that, and we are free to access that energy as we need it.”

Chaud notes that one of the remaining challenges is transporting the pies once they’ve reached critical temperature.

“There are no gloves currently in existence that can handle them.”


SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR FIELD CORRESPONDENT DIRK MARSHO FOR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THIS STORY

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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