Press "Enter" to skip to content

BREAKING NEWS

BREAKING NEWS

Transformers prequel in development

OPTIMUS WOODS – Producers unaffiliated with DreamWorks have begun development on a prequel to the 2007 live-action movie, “Transformers”, titled simply “Transformer”. The film will

Read More »

Philosopher King provides fast, affordable evaluation of life questions

HEGEL MILLS – The newest chain in the food court serves only food for thought — Philosopher King offers up specialized menus of realism, empiricism,

Read More »

Drug cartels moving over to printer ink

CUIDAD SIEMJUAQUE – Faced with falling demand, several drug cartels are transitioning their operations over to more expensive printer ink. “It’s the most expensive consumer

Read More »

Whoop Ass now available in snack pack size

CHICAGO – Fans of the ever-popular Can of Whoop-Ass may now purchase the walloping in smaller form, the Cup of Whoop-Ass. “Sometimes you don’t need

Read More »

High speed chase ends well

LOS ANGELES – The high-speed pursuit of an alleged armed robber ended without incident today when the suspect pulled over. “He finally realized that he

Read More »

Slow-motion clips of perp walks to be admitted as evidence of guilt

CINCINNATI, OH – A federal appeals court has just ruled that grainy, slow-motion footage of arrested suspects being paraded before cameras to make them look

Read More »

Microwaved CD reviews better than original

BRIGHTON – A microwaved copy of the CD “Hooked on Prog” was accidentally submitted to a reviewer and received higher marks than the actual CD.

Read More »

Whistleblower reveals that 75% of nautical terms made up on the spot

PAPEETE – A former sailor has broken the code of silence among his peers by disclosing that most of the terms used at sea are

Read More »