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SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Bluetooth now comes in patch form

PALLIAT – A glimmer of hope has now come to hundreds of thousands of chronic Bluetooth headset users who wish to quit. The new Bluetooth Patch offers headset users a small transdermal dose of Bluetooth as they slowly increase the amount of time not wearing the headset.

“I couldn’t have done it without the patch,” said Sandra Fingale, founder of SoluProv International, an international provider of solutions. “We’re a solutions provider on an international front, and that means I’ve got to be connected 24-7-365.”

Bluetooth Patch inventor Benoit Saider said that Fingale exhibits classic symptoms of Bluetooth addiction. “She will wear the headset in the bed, on the elevator, on the train through tunnels – even when there is no one calling and no possible way to get a signal.”

The Patch delivers Bluetooth through the skin along with the comforting physical contact similar to a headset, while slowly weaning the addict off of the actual earpiece.

Bluetooth marketing materials do not give any statistics for the success rate of the Patch, but anecdotal accounts estimate the relapse rate at about 80%. The number one reason for starting up the headset again is discovery of a missed call.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

2 Responses

  1. Kath

    Keyboard = 2 Kath = 0In case you are keeping track.

  2. Andy

    You know they’re working on a keyboard patch, too.

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