WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Bet you thought this was going somewhere

LOVELAND, CO – When a post on a prestigious news blog began with a striking sideways image of a roadside by a majestic mountain range, you thought perhaps there was some point to all of it.

You started reading the text, looking for some meaning or context, but there was none.

Reading further, you started to suspect that the entire post was a crass stunt, a ruse to keep you browsing on the site after having clicked on the link. You got a little miffed at that, but not quite steamed.

Glancing over at the categories listed, you squint and tilt your head a bit. What could the meaning possibly be? What was the author trying to say? Have I been tricked?

These are the kind of questions that demand answers, and

 

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

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The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
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