PLATTE CITY, NE – An archerfish was ejected from the Grunion Saloon late yesterday afternoon when he would not refrain from sniping down insects and small animals from the rafters with jets of water from his mouth.
“In other words, spitting,” said saloon manager Hazel Deacon. “We have only a few strict rules in here. No shooting, no gang colors, no paper towels in the toilet, and no spitting.”
The archerfish, who identified himself as Marlin, reportedly hails from a mangrove in northern Australia. He left without incident, and no saloon patrons were injured or consumed.