WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

Apathecary dispenses medicine, indifference

ACEDIA, CT – If you need a prescription filled, go see Dr. Shrugg. But if you want interest or concern, go elsewhere.

Shrugg’s Drugs is a full service pharmacy and convenience store, and by all accounts the service is top-notch. Customers invariably praise Shrugg’s expertise and knowledge in pharmaceuticals. He doesn’t want to hear about it, though.

“Yeah, don’t try to chat him up about your ailment if you’re after a kind word,” said Jen Teague, who was picking up a refill. “It is the place to come if you want to get your meds and go.”

Several times a week, someone will attempt to make small talk or garner a little extra advice about their illness. While Dr. Shrugg is willing to answer questions about medications, he is quick to curtail run-on conversations and get back to work.

 

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

One Response

  1. Anonymous

    Apatheticary dispenses indifference to spelling “Apothecary”.-Anonymchuckous

Popular
Food safety experts issue warning on Kombucha cupcakes
CONSUMER

Food safety experts issue warning on Kombucha cupcakes

SAVANNAH, GA – The popularity of the fermented drink Kombucha has extended to cupcakes, and while they are just as

Earth to occupants: I’ll be fine. You, not so much
CLIMATE

Earth to occupants: I’ll be fine. You, not so much

EARTH – The planet on which every known organism lives sent an open letter to all of them today, assuring

Advertisement
Categories
Archives
0.0
BY THE NUMBERS
The average amount of seconds a reader will squint at a confusing statistic before giving up
Scroll to top