WEATHER: Might rain, might not – hard to say. Chance of sun and/or clouds, temps between -46 and 120℉
TRAFFIC: Bad where you are, also other places. Stay home
HOROSCOPE: Chance favors the prepared. Don’t buy into vague generalities. Reject platitudes and forge your own path. We’ve been over this.
SPORTS: Local major league franchise scores more points than other local franchise. Losing coach: “We should have scored more points.”
EVENTS: Your friend’s band that you have no intention of ever seeing is playing tonight. There’s some kind of loud festival going on this weekend and you won’t be able to park anywhere near the farmer’s market
MARKETS: ₳ 86.7 ㏎ 53.09 ㏄ 2.4 ⅐ 4.6 ㏒ 808 ☈ 10.0 ㎏ 3gd ₤ 902.25 ü 21.12 ฿ AFL1-3603 ℗ 19.84 ℀ x86 ッ3.14159 ℅ 2.718 § .57721 ‱ 4.6692 € 6.66 ₩ 1.618 ⅜ a2+b2=c2 ₭ ¤ ₴ ㎡ 69 ø 420 ⌫ 555 ∄ XIV ⌘ 24/7/365 ə
POLITICS: Holy crap, how does this keep getting worse
SCIENCE: Revolutionary medical breakthrough still ten to twenty years away

200th JankyVision post kind of a dud

EDITOR’S NOTE: JankyVision was purchased by The Post News Times in 2018 and as such took possession of and credit for all their content. We include this post for historical accuracy, but no one at Post News Times was directly responsible.

DENVER – Early reviews of the 200th entry for the mildly popular humor blog “JankyVision” have been unenthusiastic.

“They went real strong there for a while, then disappeared for a couple weeks,” said avid reader Gordon Bizhan. “And they come back with this? The picture doesn’t even go with the text!”

Pundits close to the blog’s board of directors suggested that a move of JankyCorp’s headquarters prompted the blip in output.

Some uncertainty also surrounded the actual count of posts at JankyVision.com, attributed to fatigue, recurring indolence and an indeterminate number of posts in draft.

“Not to worry, there’s plenty of ersatz news out there to go around,” said Press Liaison Dennis Pascale.

Muligan Stewart

Muligan Stewart

Mulligan types neatly and is punctual. He graduated summa cum dolus from William Gaines School of Journalism. Do not ever touch his stereo.

One Response

  1. Anonymous

    At least you got the star ratings thing enabled, so you’ve got that going for you.

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